At 2:30 this afternoon we had some pretty excited faces! Here we are sitting in the hotel waiting to drive to meet Max for the first time.
I know you must be curious about how our “Gotcha Day” went. There is really no single word to describe it. I have watched gotcha day videos, read a ton of books/blogs about it, attended adoption training. All of this these gave me an idea of how this special day might go, but I did not realize that each one is a unique experience. It is a lot like having a biological child , because no matter how much preparation and reading and training you do, the contractions aren’t always 5 minutes apart, your water might break before the hospital or maybe, just maybe, you might go past that due date.
Ya’ll, today was so so so hard, but amazingly beautiful all bundled up together. We went to an apartment building (I was expecting some kind of government building) and walked in to two rooms full of kids of all ages. They were being united with their families who had traveled to China from all over the world, not just America. Some were crying tears of grief and some were full of smiles.
And then I saw him. Our Max. He was grieving hard…I looked into his eyes before holding him and I knew right then and there that he had been through way too much for any almost 2 year old. He told me with those big brown eyes and through many, many tears that he had been hurt by this world one too many times. My heart broke,but understood, when he pushed me away. I cried inside as he wept. I began to feel hope as his deep stare and beautiful eyes watched me intently as I stepped a few feet away to sign some papers.
For a brief second I thought to myself “I can’t do this, I can’t take him away from all he has ever known.” And that is when I knew I HAD TO. Something kicked in and I knew at that moment I would do everything, with God leading, to help mend his broken little heart. I would FIGHT for him to have a future, a future not like his beginnings.
My precious little one, I know this world will fail you. I know at times we will fail you. But know this, we will ALWAYS love you and you will ALWAYS be our son. And most importantly Jesus loves you. Welcome to the family Timothy Max Eshleman !